At the beginning of the summer of 2020 my wife said she wanted a separation and needed me to move out. It wasn't a mutual decision and precipitated a very difficult time for me emotionally - basically, I had to accept the death of our relationship and "find life after love." After getting established in my own place, one of the ways I processed this major life event was to change the strings on my guitar and my mandolin and make some music, which is presented here in chronological order. During the initial months of our separation, I found that I personally needed as little to do with her as possible, giving myself time and space to really feel everything that I needed to feel, and sort through the complex emotions of my heart. There was loss, grief, anger, resentment, judgment - you name it, it was there.
In working through these songs, I hit a bit of a surprise when I got to song #6, "Trust." I don't plan out my music - I just go with what presents itself. With "Trust," I seemed to have hit a place of acceptance and renewed positivity.
Next came "Orobai's Mystic Groove," which is another song that just happened, inspired by my work of making an audiobook for my novel, "Orobai's Vision." It felt like at that point, I was ready to focus elsewhere.
Then, when on a personal inner journey, while lying on the floor and listening to these songs, the knowledge that it was time to re-establish personal contact with my wife hit me like a great big wave of "YES!" It took me a week to muster the courage to reach out to her, but I did, finding that there was still a lot of residual emotion there. Yet when we actually met in person, it was surprisingly pleasant.
The very next day after breaking the ice between us, our town was hit by fire. Given the crisis, we started spending more time together to make sure if the winds changed, we'd all be able to get out of town together with our son. In the days and weeks that followed, much to everyone's surprise, my wife found that she was still in love with me, and found a new attraction and desire to be with me. Moving slowly, paying careful attention to the genuine energy, the love between us was rekindled.
And that brings me to the most recent addition to this collection, "Ecstasy Surprise." As one might tell by the vibe of the song, there's new life bubbling up and expressing itself through my music.
This whole process of "Finding Life After Love" has been, though very difficult and challenging to move through, actually quite the gift. Personally, I'm feeling that I'm in Life 3.0, having undergone two other major life changes.